Originally written January 7th, 2021:
Writing this blog post with a heavy heart, every ‘mommy to bes’ worst nightmare. However, it’s a topic I now believe is not talked about enough as we weren’t taught how to cope or handle this type of loss growing up. I pray if you too are going through this situation or something similar— you find peace in knowing that what is meant for you, is already yours. I find peace in the fact, that even though we didn’t meet in the flesh, I pray I will feel you again, one day.
I am yours, and you will always be mine.
RIP Sweet Angel.
Miscarriage: Did you know 1 out of every 4 pregnancies end in a miscarriage?
This statistic actually blows my mind.. simply due to the fact I did not know one person who had miscarriage… except.. I did. My mother had a miscarriage, close friends had a miscarriage, friends of friends had a miscarriage— practically every women in my life who has children had a miscarriage. While understanding it’s a taboo subject, I believe it’s important to open the conversation to spread awareness and comfort to others **Que The Beatles - With a little help from my friends**
The miscarriage is not your fault
The majority of miscarriages that happen, happen because of some type of chromosomal disconnect. A chromosomal disconnect with the egg and the sperm— somehow were not meeting together, not forming an embryo that would correctly form a baby. It’s your bodies natural way of stopping that process before it gets too far along in the pregnancy. It’s not because you were stressed at work. It’s not because you worked out. It’s not because you took that flight. It’s not because you had that one glass of wine— it’s just genetics, chromosomes.
There is a common misconception about miscarriages,
“Women think that when they have one miscarriage, they are doomed to miscarry again.”
However, the likelihood of having recurrent miscarriages (at least 2 or 3) is low, only occurring in about 1 percent of women. As your eggs age they have a higher chance of abnormal chromosomes. Women of the age of 20-30 have a 9-17% chance of miscarriage, Women at the age of 35 have a solid 20% chance of miscarriage with each pregnancy, Women at the age of 40 increase to a 40% chance of miscarriage, and Women at the age of 45 increase to a 85% chance of miscarriage.
If you are here looking for some type of comfort during this hard time, I pray this information helps. It was collected by talking to my community of women who went through this horrible experience, my own miscarriage experience and other various blogs/ podcasts with Doctors in the field (references linked at the bottom of the blog post). I’m going to link some items I personally used during this uncomfortable, sad miscarriage process that made it slightly more bearable..
My script of Misoprostol (vaginally) pictured above (4 tablets 200mg each, 3 doses). I ended up taking all 3 doses within a 14 hour time period. Which consisted of nesting in between doses, constantly checking to see if the medication was working and getting flu like chills up and down my body. (if the Misoprostol doesn’t work within the first 12 hours don’t worry— I didn’t start until 4am the following day after 2,400MG of Misoprostol (1st dose at 9am, second dose at 3pm, third dose at 11pm) Make sure to stay hydrated! I couldn’t find a good timeline on the dose or the dose working on any blog, but luckily was able to text my doctor for comfort, I hope that this information is helpful to someone.
You will be living in this robe for the next 24-72 hours. Extra soft, comfy material is ideal. Especially if the Misoprostol gives you flu like chills as it did to me. Robe, plush socks, and a warm blanket.
This is my favorite brand of akaline water. Get a case, chill them and be sure to have some type of filtered water on stand by. The meds completely flush your system, be sure to stay hydrated.
My doctor prescribed me 800mg tablets, however these amazon extra strength are 500mg a pop (These are the strongest I can find on amazon) The migranes/ cramping were no joke. I avoided the prescribed hydrocodone and solely used Ibuprofen for the pain.
Last but not least, get a good pad WITH wings.
Healing: I don’t know if one ever truly heals from this type of loss but try to remember for your peace of mind:
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1 out of 4 women who go through pregnancy have a miscarriage, talk to friends/ family about their experience. You are not alone!
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Miscarriages just happen, it’s the chromosomes not forming correctly. Don’t overanalyze what you could’ve done different, more times than not, there was nothing you could’ve done to have a different outcome. It wasn’t going to be a healthy baby.
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1st loss doesn’t mean you won’t concieve in the future. There is hope for a healthy pregnancy!
My husband and I are taking all the necessary steps to try again come March 2021. (Doctor Approved this plan)
Praying for a healthy baby in the future for my family, Praying for a healthy baby in the future for your family, the journey isn’t over.
Information Credits: Verywellfamily, The V Word Podcast with Dr. Jenn & Dr. Erica.
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